One Change of Plans at a Time
Thursday, August 25th, 2011“Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs.” – Henry Ford
“Great things are done by a series of small things brought together.” - Van Gogh
While shoving cucumbers down the gullet of my juicer, the phone rang. This time it wasn’t a bill collector. It was Dr. Smith’s office calling. There has been a change of plans. My reconstruction surgery needs to be pushed back two weeks.
Apparently, my blood is exceptionally thin due to my pill popping obsession. In other words, I am what the doctor calls a “bleeder”. To avoid a crime scene, I need to stop popping Omega 3, flax seed, CoQ10, ginger, ginkgo biloba and garlic two weeks prior to my surgery. These supplements thin your blood and can cause excessive bleeding. Bleeding can leave a horrible hematoma, that’s a fancy word for a bruise, and cause complications increasing the risk of infection or necrosis. I just learned this term necrosis. It means death of the skin. Not a good thing when attempting to rebuild my breast.
Anyway, the point of my blog this week is to let you all know that I am scheduled for surgery next Tuesday, August 30th. They are going to start putting my beautiful boobie back together. The other point of this blog is to proudly share with you that I did not have a meltdown when first told the news, only three days before my surgery date, that I had to reschedule. I actually took this abrupt change in my plans quite well. Seems I am learning to shift gears without having a temper tantrum or meltdown. Those polar bears are saved. Well, at least from me.
In fact, it has been 15 days since my last meltdown.
I think I am finally getting a hang of this cancer thing.
It looks as if I have actually accepted the fact that healing is a long process. It’s not like one day you have cancer, the next you don’t. Healing takes time. What is another two weeks added to this crazy year if it means a safer, healthier choice without complications? I am in.
It is promising to know that I am learning to let go, stay open, be flexible and take baby steps toward healing. One teeny tiny little baby step at a time. Baby steps are not always easy for me by the way. Have you seen my legs? All three miles of them?
Ok. I admit it. These are not my legs.
So, when I am faced with an overwhelming undertaking, when I start freaking out because the plans have been changed, when I begin to melt because the mission ahead of me is too daunting, I will remember what John Steinback had to say:
“When I face the desolate impossibility of writing 500 pages, a sick sense of failure falls on me, and I know I can never do it. Then gradually, I write one page and then another. One day’s work is all that I can permit myself to contemplate.”
One day’s work at a time, one surgery at a time, one treatment at a time, one supplement at a time, one juice at a time, one workout at a time, one meltdown at a time and one change of plans at a time.
That’s one small step for Deanne, one giant leap for mankind.