Wild Woman is Calling

Open Mic with Raundi at The Ugly Mug

Have you ever noticed how certain themes keep popping up in your life, like a flock of strange coincidences flying by, and you just can’t ignore it any longer? 

Well, the subject of “fun” and “lack thereof” has made an appearance quite a few times this past week.  And, when a topic keeps revisiting me like this, I usually figure the Universe is trying to tell me something.

While walking the other day with my new neighbor, Janice, she said, “Deanne, you have a fun life.”  She caught me off guard.  It was the last thing I expected to hear at that moment as I was complaining a bit.  I told her that with seven women in our band and eighteen kids between us, it’s difficult to find time for Daisy Chain to practice.  I then went off and explained how I was up till midnight last night trying to meet a writing deadline; that my entire Saturday will be spent at Casey’s fundraising concert in Long Beach, I am still adjusting to living in a new city and I have to drive 30 extra minutes to get to T-Street, for a day at our favorite beach.    

But Janice, who not only has worked in the neo natal unit at UCI hospital inserting feeding tubes into premature babies for the last 30 years, raised two kids, battled cancer, supported her husband after he lost his job and nursed him back to health after breaking his neck in an accident in Cozumel saw things very differently.

And, she was right.  I felt pretty silly at that point.  

Although, I am crazy busy and have had to deal with some pretty big problems these last few years, I do have a fun life.  In fact, this morning my ears are still ringing after the benefit concert last night.  And today, I am going on a 10 mile hike with a friend followed by a BBQ with our neighbors this evening.  So, my life may not be full of late nights, sweet delights, happy hour Martinis, or trips to Tahiti.  But it is fun.  It’s just a different kind of fun.

The theme of fun came up again on Friday night.  I took Maggie to see her friend, Emme perform in “Suessical.”  My cheeks hurt by the end of the performance from smiling so much.  It was fabulous.  It wasn’t just the remarkable cast, gorgeous set and bright costumes that made the play so spectacular, it was the story line. 

Mayzie LaBird, a flamboyant and beautiful bird asked Horton, the introspective and sweet elephant, to please sit on her egg for an hour.  She needed a break.  She was tired and bored and in desperate need for some time to herself.  Horton, the caring and compassionate elephant, although in the midst of an emergency, frantically searching for the missing speck of dust that the Who’s live on, agreed.  But, an hour turned to two, then three, until Mayzie flew off to Palm Beach with a handsome peacock never to return.  But Horton sat on that egg.  Not only had he made a promise, he intended to live up to his responsibility. The helpless little egg needed him.  It would not hatch without his warmth, security and support. 

 

Emme and The Who's in Seussical

The Fish

 

Emme and Maggie

I love this story.  It truly resonates with me.  I admit there were times I wanted to fly off like Mayzie.  Just live in a tent on the beach, drinking Corona’s all day and making love all night.  Married for twenty years, raising three kids, taking care of a home, paying bills, and homeschooling takes its toll on a Wild Woman’s soul. 

When I say Wild Woman, I don’t mean wild as in “out of control.”  The term actually comes from Clarissa Pinkola Estes brilliant book, “Women Who Run with the Wolves.”  Wild means “to live a natural life” with “innate integrity and healthy boundaries,” like a wolf.  To be in touch with Wild Woman is to be in touch with our authentic self, our psyche, our soul.  She is our creative spirit, our foundation for healthy relationship, work, and play.  And, when we are in touch with Wild Woman, we don’t need to run off to Palm Beach with a peacock. 

BUT, when we are not in touch with Wild Woman, Estes says:

“… women are without ears to hear her soul talk or to register the chiming of their own rhythms.  Without her, women’s inner eyes are closed by some shadowy hand, and large parts of their days are spent in a semi-paralyzing ennui or else wishful thinking.  Without her, women lose the sureness of their soul-footing.  Without her, they forget why they’re here, they hold on when they would best hold out.  Without her they take too much or too little or nothing at all.  Without her they are silent when they are in fact on fire.”

And, without Wild Woman you become like the wolf in winter, starved.  Your soul becomes relentlessly hungry and your voracious appetitive will cause you to kill recklessly and gorge.  Not unlike a wolf after a famine.

I know firsthand. 

I guess that’s what I was trying to tell Janice all along, albeit indirectly.  And, that’s why the story of Horton and Mayzie resonated with me so. 

Finding time for me, my art, and my creative self these days is challenging.  I am learning to keep a better balance in my life, however I still get hungry.  But, I work hard every day to feed myself with “soul food” so I will never starve again.  My Wild Woman has reasserted herself and I can tell you, once you find her, you will never let her go. 

Learning to balance responsibility with fun is tricky.  Sometimes I feel like Gabby on the balance beam in constant check of myself.  If I lean too far towards Palm Beach, it’s time for a check, too far towards domesticity, check.  I am hoping it gets easier with practice. 

So, it wasn’t a coincidence that the theme “fun” kept popping up in my life; probably because I have been leaning a bit too far on the domestic side these days.  Cancer, three kids, ten Koi and our culture can do that to a girl.  In fact, that’s what the Universe was trying to tell me.  I can hear it loud and clear now, “Deanne, it’s time for a check girl!

Wild Woman is calling.

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