One Change of Plans at a Time

“Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs.”  – Henry Ford

“Great things are done by a series of small things brought together.” - Van Gogh

While shoving cucumbers down the gullet of my juicer, the phone rang.  This time it wasn’t a bill collector.  It was Dr. Smith’s office calling.  There has been a change of plans.  My reconstruction surgery needs to be pushed back two weeks.   

Apparently, my blood is exceptionally thin due to my pill popping obsession.  In other words, I am what the doctor calls a “bleeder”.  To avoid a crime scene, I need to stop popping Omega 3, flax seed, CoQ10, ginger, ginkgo biloba and garlic two weeks prior to my surgery.  These supplements thin your blood and can cause excessive bleeding.  Bleeding can leave a horrible hematoma, that’s a fancy word for a bruise, and cause complications increasing the risk of infection or necrosis.  I just learned this term necrosis.  It means death of the skin.  Not a good thing when attempting to rebuild my breast. 

Anyway, the point of my blog this week is to let you all know that I am scheduled for surgery next Tuesday, August 30th.  They are going to start putting my beautiful boobie back together.  The other point of this blog is to proudly share with you that I did not have a meltdown when first told the news, only three days before my surgery date, that I had to reschedule.  I actually took this abrupt change in my plans quite well.  Seems I am learning to shift gears without having a temper tantrum or meltdown.  Those polar bears are saved.  Well, at least from me.

In fact, it has been 15 days since my last meltdown. 

I think I am finally getting a hang of this cancer thing. 

It looks as if I have actually accepted the fact that healing is a long process.  It’s not like one day you have cancer, the next you don’t.  Healing takes time.  What is another two weeks added to this crazy year if it means a safer, healthier choice without complications?  I am in. 

It is promising to know that I am learning to let go, stay open, be flexible and take baby steps toward healing.  One teeny tiny little baby step at a time.  Baby steps are not always easy for me by the way.  Have you seen my legs?  All three miles of them?

Ok.  I admit it.  These are not my legs.  

So, when I am faced with an overwhelming undertaking, when I start freaking out because the plans have been changed, when I begin to melt because the mission ahead of me is too daunting, I will remember what John Steinback had to say:

“When I face the desolate impossibility of writing 500 pages, a sick sense of failure falls on me, and I know I can never do it. Then gradually, I write one page and then another. One day’s work is all that I can permit myself to contemplate.”

One day’s work at a time, one surgery at a time, one treatment at a time, one supplement at a time, one juice at a time, one workout at a time, one meltdown at a time and one change of plans at a time.

That’s one small step for Deanne, one giant leap for mankind.


12 Responses to “One Change of Plans at a Time”

  1. Mom Says:

    Dad and I will be there on Monday.

  2. Patricia Says:

    Hey, should I have signed a release form for the use of my legs? Maybe my legs will look like that after all my training. I love your baby steps & am really proud of how you are embracing them. I thank you for inspiring me to embrace them too! A great lesson for all! I continue to think of you and your strength with every step I walk. Muah!

  3. Mom Says:

    Muah Patti!

  4. RosaMaria Cordova Says:

    Did I tell you that you are an inspiration??? Thinking of you, always!! <3

  5. Deanne Says:

    Muah back at ya!!!

  6. Angela Says:

    Thanks for the reminder Deanne! One baby step at a time :)

  7. Cathy Says:

    Good advice for all of us. I might have to try that! Good luck with your surgery! I know you will do great. Better than great!
    p.s. what does Muah mean?

  8. Deanne Says:

    Its a big kiss! Muah to you Cathy!

  9. Stacy Says:

    You know I think this whole cancer experience for you is like a rebirth. When you first found out, you were in your infancy – just a baby, did not have all the knowledge about what was ahead, maybe grew into toddlerhood where you had perhaps some tantrums and denials about the reality and refusal to cooperate, then you hunkered down and pushed through the elementary stage…work work work,,,study learn and use your newfound knowledge to implement change…then maybe teenage years post chemo – little rebellion, occasional ill advised tantrums…mostly growing into your new self and adjusting…and finally: adulthood: BOOBIES!

  10. clare Says:

    I am very glad you have such a good surgeon who is taking care of your safety and best health through this next stage. I join everybody in wishing you a smooth procedure and a stunningly successful outcome with a quick recovery and minimal pain. And I hope you feel all the loving caring support of all of us tomorrow.

    Love your guts

  11. Kelly Says:

    I love Stacy’s post – she’s really on to something!

    Muah to you Deanne – three times over… One from me, one from Danny and one from Allie. We keep you (and all the Brown’s) in our hearts always.

    Like Clare says – Love your guts!

  12. Deanne Says:

    I love Stacy’s post too and I sure hope she is right. I am looking forward to adulthood!

    Thank you for all your well wishes. It is so much easier going into the surgery room knowing you are all there with me.

    Zoot! Zoot! Zoot! This is the Daisy Chain Booby call.

    Love all of your guts too!!!

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